‘Something’s Fishy’: Jimmy Kimmel Drops Eye-Opening Revelation About Trump’s Real Plan for Epstein Files

Los Angeles, CA –Jimmy Kimmel devoted the opening monologue of his Tuesday night show to what he called the most suspicious political U-turn of the year: President Donald Trump’s abrupt reversal on releasing the full Jeffrey Epstein files after fighting tooth-and-nail to block them for months.

“Something’s fishy,” Kimmel declared, pausing for the laugh. “And when something smells fishy around Donald Trump, it’s usually because there’s a dead body in the trunk.”

For nearly a year the White House had quietly pressured Republicans to kill or delay the Epstein transparency bill. Trump himself had dismissed the entire push as a “Democrat hoax” and a “witch hunt.”

Yet in the span of 72 hours last week, after Rep. Thomas Massie predicted up to 100 Republicans would vote yes regardless of White House threats, Trump suddenly posted on Truth Social that Republicans should “vote YES” and “get it done.”

On Tuesday the House passed the bill 427–1, the Senate followed with unanimous consent, and the legislation landed on the president’s desk with a veto-proof majority staring him in the face.

Kimmel wasn’t buying the conversion story for a second.

“The goal was to have the bill pass by such a large margin that Trump can’t put his little orange thumb on the scale and give it the old Cheeto veto,” he said. “But make no mistake: this isn’t over. He’s not giving up easily. If anyone thinks he’s gonna release all the Epstein files, I’ve got a beautiful East Wing of the White House to sell you.”

The audience roared as a photo flashed on screen of the East Wing demolition site, now a giant hole where Melania’s rose garden once stood, soon to become Trump’s gold-plated 40,000-square-foot ballroom.

Kimmel laid out exactly how the game could still be rigged even after Congress acted.

“Even after an almost unanimous vote by Congress, Trump’s cronies in the Department of Justice still have the power to withhold information to protect ongoing investigations, to protect innocent people, or, my personal favorite, for reasons of national security,” he said. “National security! Because nothing says ‘threat to the republic’ like finding out which billionaire politicians flew on the Lolita Express.”

He noted that just four days before Trump’s public flip, the Justice Department quietly opened a brand-new Epstein-related investigation, an announcement that many on Capitol Hill immediately labeled a “smokescreen” designed to give DOJ lawyers cover to redact anything embarrassing.

“The DOJ can withhold entire documents, photos, video, whatever they want,” Kimmel continued, dripping with sarcasm. “But they would never do anything like that, would they? They’re sworn to protect the Constitution of the United States… and also to protect the president from ever having to explain why his name appears 87 times in the unredacted flight logs.”

The surest proof something is rotten, Kimmel said, is the speed of Trump’s surrender.

“Trump rolled over faster than that dog Ghislaine Maxwell gets to play with in her country-club prison,” he deadpanned.

The line brought down the house.

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Maxwell, serving a 20-year sentence for grooming underage girls for Epstein, was transferred in August to FPC Alderson, a minimum-security “camp” in Texas after telling DOJ officials under oath that she “never witnessed” Trump “in any inappropriate setting in any way.”

Photos leaked last month showed her walking a golden-retriever service puppy on the prison grounds, a perk unavailable at higher-security facilities.

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Kimmel closed by predicting the files that finally emerge next month will be so heavily redacted they’ll look like a CIA document from 1963.

“We’re gonna get 4,000 pages that say ‘REDACTED’ in 72-point font,” he said. “And on page 3,987 there’ll be one sentence that isn’t blacked out: ‘The president enjoyed the cheeseburger in paradise.’”